Hello readers!
My apologies for being so absent in this online forum of self expression. 2011 started off wonderfully. My optimistic outlook to the new year was challenged by the death of one of my cousins back in Ecuador. We received news of his tragic passing away on January 3 and within 24 hours I was at the airport putting my mom on a plane so she could be supportive to her sister. We gave my dad the gift of a trip to Ecuador to see my Grandmother welcome her 85th year so she joined him there.
I consider myself very lucky to have such a large family and I have extra special love for all of my cousins. Growing up it was so awesome to know I had built in best friends who couldn't reject me. We spent hours, days, and weeks together at a time as our families shared parenting duties to manage work schedules, and kept the extended Ecuadorian family unit together in their adopted home of Canada.
Ultimately, we HAD to get along, to compromise, to respect each other no matter what actions or inaction we took. As we grew into adults I lost the built in time spent with each other that came with living at home yet the bond and love I feel for my cousins increases with each passing family get together, or holiday. Sharing the experience of growing up in OUR family ultimately brings us together in a very beautiful way.
My bond with my cousins in Ecuador is no different though the time we have spent together has been so limited. I can count the number of trips I have taken there one one hand, possibly quantify the number of days or hours into much less than the time I have spent with my cousins in Canada yet the impact is the same- unconditional love, unwavering support, and the source of some of the most amazing memories I have in my life.
I have dragged my feet around the last week. I have contemplated what it will be like to deal with death in my large extended family and all of my beautiful friends I consider to be my family. I have reasoned about how I will handle those moments to come. I have cried a lot- alone, in the presence of my family and friends, and I have felt the impact of losing a great man in our family unit. I have sought out spaces that bring me peace. I have prayed and sent out requests to our mighty universe- to care for my family in Ecuador, to help them move forward and for all of us to find peace in our loss.
I have not woken up to a song in more than a week. This morning I woke up early to this song and I smiled deeply for the first time in what feels like forever. I walked to work today and ran into several lovely friends who added smiles to the beginning of my day. I saw my desk and work surroundings with fresh eyes and I feel like the miracle I needed was delivered.
Today is my Grandmother's 85th birthday. I am grateful for her life and I am grateful for the life my cousin had and the time we spent together.
Life really is precious and today I am reconnected with that awareness in my heart. Take the time to show your love friends, it makes all the difference and can be the exact miracle another needs.
Peace and love,
j
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