Happy Monday everybody!
This morning I woke up to this jam. It is snowing in Toronto and today was the first morning I actually had to bundle up in full parka, and snow boots for my commute to work. The snow caused me to consider taking the subway but with this beat in my head, I put in my earphones, searched for Beyonce on my iPod, and began the 30 minute walk.
Usually my morning jam lasts about one block of walking before I let shuffle take over. Yet today I found myself putting this song on repeat. First this remix provided a steady beat to pound the freshly snowed upon sidewalk. Second, I listened to these lyrics deeply and considered who Beyonce was singing to in this song.
We can all take this song at face value- a fiercely independent woman communicating to someone she loves who does not love her back. She sounds angry, dark, and pointed as she questions why this person could not love or need her.
I've been considering my own fierce independence as of late and this song brought back moments when I asked these very questions of specific people.
Looking back, I put emphasis on those people NOT loving me, and lost sight of my ability, need, and commitment to love myself. Putting money in bank accounts and not asking for help, developing those smarts and taking every challenge on- no doubt I have proven I am more than capable of taking care of myself. In fact, I identified deeply with the image of a strong, independent woman who could do it all ON HER OWN.
I've got beauty and class, there's nothing not to love about me. These words could not be any truer for me. And now I am also ready to be a little softer, to share and connect, and to truly be open to others caring for me as much as I care for them.
Dance this one out, especially if you are reading from your desk chair.
Much love especially of the self kind,
j
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